He was always there.

Growing up, I was the youngest of my family out of 3 girls, my middle sister is five years older than me, and my oldest sister and I are 16 years apart.

I always look back to my childhood as “the time to be alive” because to me, I felt like my childhood was so much fun, I was so innocent to the world and its agendas, it was filled with laughter, music and great vibes. I feel like God highlighted that time of life for me in my memory for a reason. I'm still unpacking it, but for now I'll give you a spark notes version of my Roux <3 part one.

I grew up in the catholic church attending catechism learning about the different saints and learning about the crucifixion of Jesus, and weekly Sunday masses with my family. 

And I also attended a Christian  elementary school where we did chapel daily where we did worship, and we learned how to pray to Jesus, the teachings of Jesus and where I also learned a lot about different ethnicities and cultures which gave me an open mind about the world which I am thankful for.

God was always in my life, He was never foreign to me, and my family always made sure to remind me of who God was. As I think back into my childhood. I recall one night where it was storming so much outside, that we had to turn the lights off in the house, and light candles. The tv was off as well which made the thunder and lightning amplify, seeming angrier than they have ever been to me. When  I would see lightning, I would brace myself for the loud thunder that would follow, shaking the house. I started to cry out of fear, assuming that this weather would not turn out fine, my mother came to me telling me to calm down, giving me a speech about how God is just watering the earth, and there is no reason for me to be afraid which gave me peace as a child, and a established God's position at a young age. 

I’m saying all of this to say that my childhood innocence allowed God to show himself, and when I look back at times where he did reveal his love to me by allowing me to see how he listens to me and my prayers, I am able to be encouraged that he could do it for me now.  And though this is a little taste of my roux, even writing about it now helps me be encouraged that God is able to do exceedingly and abundantly in my life. 

Though tears may fall, and frustration may lay its head on my pillow, it would never be able to call my heart home.

And thunder clouds of doubt and despair may form over my head at this very moment, and it may rain for a bit, but I am reminded of what my mother told me when I was younger (psalm 30:5). 

Not only am I encouraging your spirit, but mine as well. Lord knows I needed to read this just as much as you did. 

He was here all along, He is always here in our lives, working

~Raylyn.